Nothing But Purple: LIFE   

Monday, August 17, 2009


I'm beginning to realize what I may have missed out on while being a mother for the past four years. Don't get me wrong I've loved every minute of it but I really feel like I need a vacation AWAY from all the stress of home and finances. Does anyone else feel this way?

I've felt like this for eight months now, but I've been on some medication because it got to the point that I was screaming at the boys and not wanting to do house work. Another thing that let me know something was going on was when a friend of mine asked me why I would want another baby. I've told her from time to time that I would like to have three and to try for a girl when the time was right for us again. She comes back to tell me that I was being selfish, now why on earth would I be selfish when I said I would wait til the time felt right again. I know emotionally and financially that we are not ready for another. Then I start crying and start the whole thing about me being as young as I am with two kids when it wasn't planned that way.

I really just have a WHOLE mess of things in my head that, well, are somewhat confusing because I want to take off with my kids with or without my husband to just start over somewhere, meaning that I'd like my husband to get a different job. I HATE HATE HATE that he works third shift, I'M TIRED!! I want him home. I don't sleep well period. Plus he works nights comes home in the morning then goes to bed and I'm with the boys ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT. It gets very tiring after awhile.

And just having recently been fired from my part time job and becoming a stay at home mom again has been rough on me. I loved being away from the house for about four to five hours. It was a very nice break and now I can't get that. One thing good that did come out of this was that I started babysitting, kinda cheap but it's helping her and myself out.


  1. I so feel you on the 3rd shift! It sucks!!! My husband worked it for a few years. I can't sleep when he's not here so it was torture. Plus it felt like I never saw him because he was working at night and sleeping during the day. We would get a couple hours as a family a day. *Hugs*
    .-= AJ @ A Little Bit Nutty´s last blog ..Why does being a good person hurt sometimes =-.

  2. I really don't know what I can say that will really cheer you up so instead I'll just send you lots of big bear hugs. And also let you know that your bloggy friends are listening and here for you. That always helps me.

  3. My husband works nights also and it sucks that he sleeps all day and I'm alone with the kids all day. Hope it gets better. Hang in there.
    .-= Tammy´s last blog ..Wednesday Memes =-.

  4. I'm glad to hear someone else has been there.

  5. Thanks for the big bear hugs.

  6. Thanks. I hope it does soon.

  7. Man that sounds very stressful. I don't have anything to really add but that I'm here "listening" to you. I hope things get better. I have just one more week before my husband starts the crappy M-F out of town work assignment. :(
    .-= Catherine @ The Blonde Diaries´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – August 19, 2009 =-.


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